Welcome back, fans and fan-ettes! It’s that time of the month where we honor the sexiest of the strange and the wildest of the weird — the science fiction pinups!

If this is your first time joining us for the Sci-Fi Pinups, welcome! Catch up by checking out the chestilicious Januaries, the out-of-this-world Februaries, our digitally delicious Marches, ass-kicking Aprils, the mega Mays, and our juicy jugs Junes.

Yes, Van Damme and juicy jugs — there’s a water jug on the floor in the photo. Go check the picture. It’s there.

Yes! Jugs! Look, that was a lot of stupid puns to use in one sitting and I couldn’t think of anything else. In fact, the left half of my brain is numb now. Don’t let me do that again.

And now for our hotties!

Miss July may look like a spring chicken, but she’s much, much older than she looks. I just wouldn’t mention it in front of her. There’s a reason she’s called “The Destroyer”, if you know what I’m saying. Her turn-ons are gigantic hell dogs, firing colored bolts of power from her fingers (at you), and parading around as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Turn-offs include people who aren’t gods and crossing the streams. She is…

…Gozer the Gozarian from Ghostbusters!

She may not even be a chick, but with such a hot bod, who cares? If you head out on the town with Miss July, remember: if she asks if you’re a god, for the love of all that’s holy, say yes.

BONUS: Here’s a video of Miss July in action!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfdiXBA7f6U&w=480&h=360]

Mr. July is from our own planet Earth, but in the distant 27th century, where things are just as bodacious as he is. No one knows if he really has a career, though he does ride around in a phone booth and make sure the future utopia of humanity stays intact. Mr. July’s turn-ons include cool sunglasses, righteous guitar shredding, and helping people with their history reports. Turn-offs include being late for history reports and your girlfriend marrying royal ugly dudes. He is…

…Rufus from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure!

If you head out on the town with Mr. July, you’ll probably spend a lot of time being excellent to each other.

…Uh, wow. That was a lot less perverted in my head, I swear.

BONUS: Here’s a video of Mr. July in action!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DsFMJQHbMs&w=560&h=315]

Thanks for joining me for another month of Sci-Fi Pinups! If you like what you’re reading, please subscribe to the site for more. The RSS link is in the sidebar. You can also follow me on Twitter or Facebook.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Steven Depolo.