I know, I’m supposed to post the last installment of our Snake Plissken fan-fiction, but it’s the end of the month and we need to crown this month’s sci-fi pinups. Sadly, I just wasn’t able to cram Snake’s glory into a single month. We’ll wrap it up soon. On the other hand, what are you complaining about? Snake Plissken’s awesomeness cannot be contained by a single month and you know it.

All hail Snake!

So let’s move on to the science fiction pinups! If this is your first time joining us for the sci-fi pinups, you should know something: this isn’t your momma’s list of hotties. (Unless you have my mom, who, so far, has known all of our sci-fi hotties. My mother is pretty awesome — though she was pretty baffled at the popularity of the three-breasted chick from Total Recall. What can I say? Guys like boobs.)

In this segment, we feature the men and women of science fiction who rev our minds as well as our loins. It’s not Fabio in space, people.

It’s better.

Mr. May comes to us from Devil’s Tower, Wyoming. His turn-ons are UFOs, sculpting, and mashed potatoes. Put those three together and you’ve got his trifecta. His turn-offs are uneven sunburns and aliens who just won’t tell him plainly where they’re going to land. Mr. May is persistent, resilient, and incredibly brave. When the human race is running away from an alien invasion, he’s running toward it. He is…

…Roy Neary from Close Encounters of the Third Kind!

Mr. May is an older hottie, but he was a shoe-in! And he ain’t no small potatoes, either. HA! If you spend an evening with Mr. May, bring your sunblock and your potato peeler.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind is a Spielberg movie released in 1977, and it’s one of the best science fiction films ever made. It’s also incredibly commercial in that it appeals to a wide audience. If you haven’t seen this movie, you’ve got homework.

Ms. May is a royal demigoddess who hails from Themyscira. Her turn-ons are truth, justice, and tying you up with her lasso. (Meow!) Turn-offs include bad guys and being completely clothed. She’s got a full, invisible plane full of tricks, so having her on your side is a big perk. She’s also very perky, if you catch my drift. She is…

…Wonder Woman!

We had a lot of candidates up for Ms. May, but Wonder Woman used her Lasso of Truth to tie up the competition, her super-strength to beat the crap out of them, and then ran them over with her invisible jet. Twice. A job well done! If you plan on heading out on the town with Ms. May, be sure to bring a pair of spandex and a matching cape.

How did we do for this month’s pin-ups? Surprised at all? Who should have won instead? Please tell me you know Roy Neary and his mashed potato mountains. Leave a comment below and let me know.

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Pincushion photo courtesy of Steven Depolo.